Unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick, but a sudden good break can turn life around.
~Proverbs 13:12

Let’s be real….

This past year has been hard, emotionally, physically, and mentally.  2016 was coming to end and we were excited for what 2017 was going to bring…I think it’s safe to say we were all eager for 2017 to finally come.  Hope Full.  But 2017 came with disappointing news and delays to our dreams that tried to steal our hope.  I remember Mid-January, having an Emotional. Melt(like melting). Break Down.  Tears, I could not stop, questions I knew better than to ask, and anger at things I could not control.  We were not going to Chile. I was a mess! Do you ever feel that everybody can melt, but you can’t or shouldn’t?  I’m Right there with you.  I can melt in my closet, where my family/friends/People can’t see me then put myself together like nothing happened.  Well March came with more disappointment, more change (change that knocks you right down), and more delays. & we were not going to Chile.  This time, I felt God’s gentle hand on my shoulder saying, “trust me, I know this hurts but I’m with, I’m hurting with you”, “Stay with me a little longer.”

Hope, Trust, Keep Preserving.

Hope is very important to living not just surviving but LIVING.  I can’t begin to count the times, when I have laid in bed, saying, “Lord, I can’t do this anymore” or have thought to myself “Lord, I really want to get off of this rollercoaster”, “This is too hard”, “This hurts too much.” But the Lord is always quick to encourage me…

Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.” ~Romans 12:12

I have to admit that each time I have came up to a wall of disappointment, a bit of hope broke.  I was heartsick.  Heartsick for the promises I know are mine.  heartsick for the victories I know will come but are delayed....according to my human timeline.


Each time a piece of Hope breaks off, the Lord is there.  I have felt his presence the most in those times.  I feel his love the strongest.  I feel his arms wrap me up like the wind with every step.  I feel his gentle hand on my shoulder saying “I have not forsaken nor forgotten the desires of your heart”.”Stay with me.”

“Take courage my heart, stay steadfast my soul, He’s in the waiting. Hold onto your Hope, as your Triumph unfolds, He is never failing.” ~Kristene DiMarco
Hindsight is 20/20

2017 will forever be the year that we didn’t go to Chile, the year of change, the year of learning, a year of learning reconciliation( definitely, not my proudest moments)...and it turned out to be the best blessing God gave my family.  

Recap: We were able to serve a Native American Reservation in Northern Wisconsin, twice.  We were able to help launch a campus and a worship collective ministry.  We were able to continue to serve with Outdoor Outreach. I was able to finish my disaster response certification, which has opened many doors to respond all over this country & world.  Terra is learning and growing and her heart for people and people in need is a prayer answered.  We have been able to host a house group of 13/14 amazing youth...they really come to hang out with Brad.  We were able to serve with Samaritan's Purse disaster relief and rebuild in Rockport,Texas, & after 27 years of living in this country, I was finally able to become a US Citizen.

As I look back he met me by sending special people to pray over me, he met me with special moments with friends & family. He met me every step of the way.  But the best encounter was on a dirt road in Texas.  We were helping a lady who had fallen from her wheelchair backup and then began to cleaned up her scratches from the dirt and gravel.  As I washed her feet, I felt God’s presence wrap his arms around me and say, “You didn’t go to Chile this year.  I know the enemy tried to confuse you and he brought a lot pain; but I have been with you every step of the way.  I brought you to Texas for this moment.”

I’m thankful for this year and it will hold a tender place in my heart.  Chile is still the end goal but it has evolved into something bigger than we could ever imagine & plan for.  

2018, We welcome you! Let the Adventure continue...