Let's start from the beginning....Before Chile, before Honduras, before Africa.  

 

"Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4,

Is a scripture that I repeated a lot as a young Eli.  I so desperately wanted to do missions, I wanted to travel the world and help those in need, I wanted to be a vessel that traveled to a new city and have that city radically transformed.  I was basically crazy from the beginning.  This desire had a lot of flaws but I prayed, I begged, I argued with God..Why?  There were a lot of impossible factors in my life that need to change or this "desire" in my heart was never going to happen.  I strongly believed that God wouldn't put this in my heart if it wasn't meant to be.  Right? This thought process was very much flawed, here are to big reasons.

1. I just wanted to escape the life I had...missions seemed like a great excuse

2. I wanted to help and serve those in other parts of the world and didn't care much for the people around me

So you see that "desire" was not of God and not for his Glory; in that time and season in my life.  I slowly and stubbornly (is that a word), surrendered to God and grew hungry for him and learned to serve him where I was...not looking to other places in the world, but towards my local church and community. I remember a time when I felt I was making great strides and still had this transforming "desire" in my heart; having a conversation with a lady from my church.  She was someone that I looked up to with great admiration, somebody I considered a mentor....I recall telling her my dream to one day be that vessel but in that season I was okay with letting go of that dream and serve here wholeheartedly Here.  She quickly and without missing a beat said, "Eli, you will never be a missionary, there are certain things a missionary has to do and eat that you will never be able to do"..something about eating certain foods.  In that moment, my dream had been crushed.  If you are a mentor, please use your words wisely, listen before you speak, and pray.   I turned those words and my hurt feelings over to God and said, "I'll serve you anywhere,even her; but you know my heart."......